Building Confidence in Social Situations

It’s normal to worry sometimes about how you appear to other people. Some of the most common situations that might make you worry about this are giving a presentation at work, performing in front of others, or talking to someone you see as an authority figure. But if you’ve become preoccupied with this and distressed by the thought that others are judging you, or if these worries are interfering with your ability to get on with your life, you may have a problem called social anxiety. If all of this sounds familiar to you, it can be helpful to understand why you feel anxious in social situations and to learn about strategies you can use to manage these feelings.

Building Confidence in Social Situations is associated with:

Coping with Worries about Going Out, Improving Self-Esteem, Managing Emotions, Working with Your Worries

Chalk message on tarmac reading: You Got This

Learn

Tell me more

Daylight

Daylight is your expert guide through worry and anxiety, whenever and wherever you need it.

The moon in an orange sky, high above a tree on a hill

Building Confidence in Social Situations

Most of us know what it’s like to feel anxious in social situations. But for some people, anxiety in everyday social situations can feel completely overwhelming and uncontrollable. This is called social anxiety.

Coping with Changes

We all experience changes in our lives. Learn about how change can affect our wellbeing.

Self-Assess

Tools for self-assessing

If you’ve become preoccupied and distressed by the thought that other people are judging you, or if these worries are interfering with your ability to get on with your life, you may have a problem called social anxiety.

Have a look at the experiences described below and see if you recognise them:

How your body might feel

Faster or shallow breathing
Increased heart rate
Tense or tight in your muscles, headaches
Sweating
Blushing

Thoughts you might have

“They’re going to think I’m a loser/idiot”
“I’m going to look stupid”
“They were laughing at me”
“I’m boring/weird”

Feelings you might have

Strong fear about social situations
Feeling ashamed of yourself
Sudden waves of anxiety when interacting with others
Suddenly feeling very aware of how you look, or how you are behaving

Things you might do

Avoid social situations e.g. Work lunches, parties
Try not to look at people, or avoid eye contact
Sit away from others
Try not to look anxious – unfortunately this can often make our anxiety worse and more obvious to others
Do things to try and get rid of the anxiety, like drinking or smoking

If these look familiar, you might find it useful to find out more about social anxiety in the ‘Learn’ section above. You’ll also find some helpful tips on managing these anxieties in the ‘Manage’ section below.

Manage

Ways to manage

A little boy standing at the foot of a flight of stone steps

Increase Your Positive Activities

An exercise in helping you find a balance in life and actively putting those positive activities back into your life.

Tips on Managing Change in Our Lives

We all have to cope and manage with change in our lives for lots of reasons. Here are some tips and thoughts on navigating through a period of change.

Computerised Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT – is a psychological therapy based on the relationships between what we think, what we do and how we feel. CBT teaches you how to recognise and tackle problems in the here and now, rather than in the past.

Support

Local support and resources

In time, you might find that your confidence improves in social situations on its own, with support from people in your life, or with tools to help you manage.

However, if your sleep doesn’t improve or if you’re having difficulties with your mental health and need further support, please get in touch with your GP in the first instance.

The following organisations may also be helpful:

iThrive (previously Edspace): an online space for mental health and wellbeing in Edinburgh.
The Silverline: a free confidential helpline providing information, friendship and advice for older people. Phone: 0800 470 80 90 (free to call, open 24/7, 365 days per year).
Breathing Space: free and confidential phone service if you are feeling low, anxious or depressed. Phone: 0800 83 85 87 (free to call, Mon-Thur 6pm-2am; Friday-Mon 6pm-6am).
The Samaritans: emotional support for anyone in emotional distress. Phone: 116 123 (free to call, open 24/7, 365 days per year).
SAMH: offers support and information about mental health problems. Phone: 0344 800 0550.
Managing loneliness

Domestic Abuse Support

National Domestic Abuse helpline: 0808 200 246 (free to call, open 24/7).
Scottish Woman’s Aid: Tel 0800 027 1234
Abused Men In Scotland (AMIS): Tel 0808 800 0024 (free to call, open Mon-Fri 9am-4pm).

The Wellbeing Lothian website has been developed to provide information, self-help resources and links to help you manage your mental health and wellbeing.

We want to help you make changes in your own lives and point you in a direction to start doing so. This is Wellbeing Lothian’s aim.

Learn More about Wellbeing Lothian

This website is not intended in any way to replace the advice of a clinician. Specific advice should be sought in specific situations from a properly qualified health worker.

CONTACT US

If you have any questions about our website or are having difficulty finding something in particular, please fill in a few details below and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

OUR PARTNERS

Edinburgh Health & Social Care Partnership
Midlothian Health & Social Care Partnership
East Lothian Health & Social Care Partnership
West Lothian Health & Social Care Partnership

SHARE THIS PAGE