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Wellbeing Lothian NHS Lothian | Our Services
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Coping with Changes

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Coping with Changes

We can think of our wellbeing as being about a balance.  We all have demands that we face in different areas of our life, and resources to help us meet them.  If we have a lot of resources, we can feel okay or better coping with a lot of demands.  If we don’t have enough resources, we can feel like the tiniest extra thing will tip us over.
Diagram of scales with demand outweighing resources

Any change in our lives – large or small, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – has the potential to add or take away either resources or demands.  It can take time for us to adjust the balance again.  We may need to use our existing resources to meet new demands, or find new resources to meet old demands.  The period when we are adjusting can feel unsettled or even distressing.  This is especially true if the change is significant, negative and beyond our control, such as a bereavement, the end of a relationship, living somewhere else, a health problem or the loss of a job or other valued role.

It is normal after a life change to experience some or all of the following thoughts, emotions or changes in our body or actions.  They might be present all the time, or come and go.  We should only think of them as a problem if:

  • They are so intense or severe that they prevent you from functioning properly
  • Instead of feeling better over time you feel ‘stuck’ or that you are feeling worse.

How your body might feel

  • Changes in your normal sleep pattern – more or less
  • Changes in your appetite – more or less
  • Feeling keyed up or restless OR feeling exhausted and slowed down
  • Headaches or other aches and pains
  • Panic symptoms such as a racing heart, tightness in the chest, dizziness/lightheadedness etc.

Thoughts you might have

  • “why has this happened?”
  • “what am I going to do about…?”
  • You might find your mind gets ‘stuck in a loop’ of trying to sort out real or possible problems
  • You might find it hard to focus on or remember things
  • You might find yourself being ‘judgey’ or self-critical

Feelings you might have

  • Feeling more ‘up and down’ than usual OR feeling more ‘flat’ than usual
  • Feeling irritable
  • Feeling guilty
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling angry

Things you might do

  • Avoiding tasks or situations which feel too difficult or ‘too much’.
  • Talking less to people, becoming less sociable
  • Looking for reassurance   AND/OR reassuring other people
  • Setting yourself lots of tasks or deadlines to try to keep up
  • Working hard to keep things ‘normal’

Related Resources

  • Making Sense of Traumatic EventsMaking Sense of Traumatic Events
    If you have experienced a traumatic event, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, trauma is prevalent in our society.  An estimated 1 in 5 adults have experienced physical or sexual abuse during childhood.
  • Do I Have a Problem?Do I Have a Problem?
    Many people who have a problem with alcohol and drugs will try to cover it up. Problems are not always visible, but there are signs, and different ways of approaching recovery.
  • An Overview of Sleep
    The amount of sleep required by each person varies. On average, people sleep between 7-9 hours a night, depending on a variety of things. Some people can function well with only 5-6 hours of sleep a night, whereas others may need up to 10 hours. It’s important that you find your own level.
  • What is Grief? An Overview
    Whatever the cause of your grief, there’s no right or wrong way to cope. It’s common to feel that you’re struggling more than you should be, or that you’re taking longer to heal than you should do.  However, there’s no timeline or deadline when you’re coping with loss.
landscape of Lothian area
landscape of Lothian area
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The Wellbeing Lothian website has been developed to provide information, self-help resources and links to help you manage your mental health and wellbeing.

We want to help you make changes in your own lives and point you in a direction to start doing so. This is Wellbeing Lothian’s aim.

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