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Wellbeing Lothian NHS Lothian | Our Services
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Coping with Changes

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Coping with Changes

We can think of our wellbeing as being about a balance.  We all have demands that we face in different areas of our life, and resources to help us meet them.  If we have a lot of resources, we can feel okay or better coping with a lot of demands.  If we don’t have enough resources, we can feel like the tiniest extra thing will tip us over.
Diagram of scales with demand outweighing resources

Any change in our lives – large or small, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – has the potential to add or take away either resources or demands.  It can take time for us to adjust the balance again.  We may need to use our existing resources to meet new demands, or find new resources to meet old demands.  The period when we are adjusting can feel unsettled or even distressing.  This is especially true if the change is significant, negative and beyond our control, such as a bereavement, the end of a relationship, living somewhere else, a health problem or the loss of a job or other valued role.

It is normal after a life change to experience some or all of the following thoughts, emotions or changes in our body or actions.  They might be present all the time, or come and go.  We should only think of them as a problem if:

  • They are so intense or severe that they prevent you from functioning properly
  • Instead of feeling better over time you feel ‘stuck’ or that you are feeling worse.

How your body might feel

  • Changes in your normal sleep pattern – more or less
  • Changes in your appetite – more or less
  • Feeling keyed up or restless OR feeling exhausted and slowed down
  • Headaches or other aches and pains
  • Panic symptoms such as a racing heart, tightness in the chest, dizziness/lightheadedness etc.

Thoughts you might have

  • “why has this happened?”
  • “what am I going to do about…?”
  • You might find your mind gets ‘stuck in a loop’ of trying to sort out real or possible problems
  • You might find it hard to focus on or remember things
  • You might find yourself being ‘judgey’ or self-critical

Feelings you might have

  • Feeling more ‘up and down’ than usual OR feeling more ‘flat’ than usual
  • Feeling irritable
  • Feeling guilty
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling angry

Things you might do

  • Avoiding tasks or situations which feel too difficult or ‘too much’.
  • Talking less to people, becoming less sociable
  • Looking for reassurance   AND/OR reassuring other people
  • Setting yourself lots of tasks or deadlines to try to keep up
  • Working hard to keep things ‘normal’

Related Resources

  • Making Sense of Traumatic EventsMaking Sense of Traumatic Events
    If you have experienced a traumatic event, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, trauma is prevalent in our society.  An estimated 1 in 5 adults have experienced physical or sexual abuse during childhood.
  • DaylightDaylight
    Daylight is your expert guide through worry and anxiety, whenever and wherever you need it.
  • Common Emotional Reactions to Trauma
    It’s common to experience a range of different emotions following a trauma event.
  • What is Chronic Pain?
    We all have a pain system that’s designed to protect us. Think of it like an alarm system that’s looking out for anything that might cause us harm or damage. Our pain system is made up of nerves that carry messages between the body and the brain. Not all pain is the same, however.  Pain can be acute or chronic.
landscape of Lothian area
landscape of Lothian area
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The Wellbeing Lothian website has been developed to provide information, self-help resources and links to help you manage your mental health and wellbeing.

We want to help you make changes in your own lives and point you in a direction to start doing so. This is Wellbeing Lothian’s aim.

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This website is not intended in any way to replace the advice of a clinician. Specific advice should be sought in specific situations from a properly qualified health worker.

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